It's here! It's here!

Aunt Flo has made her presence known!  I was pleasantly surprised to see her late last night and again this morning.  When I told my sister she was stunted that I was happy.  "Well I thought you were trying to get pregnant, don't you not want you period here?"  I had to explain to her that this meant a new cycle, a new start, a new chance.  I told my Dr. and she has my cycle day 3 blood work scheduled, and an HSG between day 5-11.  I am just hoping that this cycle doesn't turn out to be a lengthy annovulatory cycle like the last two.  Wish me luck that this cycle is the one, because if not I think we will be taking a break for a bit in case I need to get settled in a new job.

Weekend Recap

Well we had a busy week over here, apologies for the lack of posts.  Nothing new with TTC still on Provera for 3 more days and then hopefully a new cycle will start.

One good thing that did happen this week was food!  I made a few AMAZING recipes.  Unfortunately they were so good that I didn't even get pictures for them.  One of them was so good that it didn't even make it to bowls, we ate it out of the pot!

Sunday night I made a version of The Pioneer Womans tuscan bean and shrimp soup.  O   M   G! It was soooo goood.  Her recipe is on her page and what I did differently was to add ALOT more crushed red pepper, about 7 more shakes (I don't measure).  Then I had white beans instead of the beans in her recipe. I also double the tomato paste while I cut everything else in half because it's just me, my husband and a few hungry neighbors.  Also I accidently grabbed mustard greens instead of kale... I didn't like that I ended up picking most of it out. And for the shrimp, I just cooked it in the soup for a few minutes before devouring it.  Again, it was SOOOO GGOOOOODDD!

The next meal I made was another Pioneer woman variation, her turkey burger recipe.  I took a package of ground turkey splashed in some Worcestershire sauce, an egg, crushed red pepper (about 3 shakes), salt and pepper.  I cooked those on the george foreman while I made an avocado, goat cheese, cream cheese mixture.  This was yummy but a bit tangy for the Hubs.  I toasted the bagels, spread the avocado cream, picked one large piece of basil and then the meat and mmmmm.  Hubs even asked for leftovers of this one the next day and that does NOT happen.  He doesn't do left overs of anything.

I also made a different variation of the tuscan bean shrimp soup.  Hubs doesn't like shrimp, so he didn't eat any of the soup.  After I had picked out all the shrimp, as a left over dinner I added in shredded chicken and it was like a whole new taste but still delicious!

I am planning on making some more yummy meals this week.  Some kind of egg salad sandwich, chili, and maybe a taco night. Any good recipes that you have that I should try?

Not feeling alone

This weekend I did some blog hopping.  The Bump updated it's TTC blog roll and I took a look around at some of the blogs.  I am so glad I did.  As I read about the struggles that other women are going through I felt like I was reading my own thoughts.  It was difficult to read how others are also having trouble with creating a new bundle of joy and I do hope that all of those women will soon be granted the sweet blessing of a baby, but while they are still on this journey I feel a kinship with them.  I felt for the first time "Hey they know exactly how I am feeling, better than I know, they are able to put it into words."  As I read about the possible road we have ahead of us I couldn't help but cry.  Cry for the unknown, cry for others, and cry because it felt good to let it out.  So thank you for all those out there blogging about your struggles with TTC.  Thank you for allowing people into that part of your life and thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone in this.

 For the first time this weekend my husband said the words "some people can't have babies, and we might be those people"! OUCH! That hurt.  2 weeks until our 1 year of TTC mark comes around and I am feeling hopeful surprisingly.  I finally received the negative blood test from the doctors office and started Provera today.  There is actually a plan in place, it's not much of a plan but it's a plan.

Weekend Blop Hop Recap

Well this weekend I ended up going up to my families cabin for the night, so I wasn't able to get as much done as I wanted.  And I also got a $300.00 (yes $300.00) PG&E bill so I couldn't buy the shoe racks I was planning on getting for my closet organization project.  Here is my recap on what I was able to accomplish this weekend!




*Friday*

Run Did this at my parents house instead of outside... it was too cold! 

Make Bruschetta that I didn't make earlier in the week  This one didn't happen until last night, but I still did it and that's all the matters!

*Saturday*

Make meal plan for week Yum! I'm excited for the meals I am making this week... look for the blog posts to come!

Take Dixie to the Dog Park This one didn't happen because we went to the cabin instead... so she did walk around natures dog park!

Get ink for my printer

Buy a new curling iron And returned it!  Target does not have great curling iron selections

Scrub shower AGAIN I hated this job

*Sunday*

Grocery Shop Nothing great to say about this one... except that I was $17 under my weekly budget!

Laundry Still doing it, but the bulk is done. 

Organize master closet :( this will have to wait a while

Print out recipes Finally! I needed to get this one done

This is Team Ash!  

Tonight is super cold, something like 35 degrees outside.  Ashley really didn't want to go running so in order to make it funner we decided to wear cool socks on our run, and we made it!  

Weekend Planning Blog Hop

This weekend the Hubs is off on a hunting excursion and won't return until Sunday evening, so I have all day Saturday and Sunday to get as much as I can done around the house before his footprint comes in and makes everything messy!

These are his decoys or fake birds that make geese think it's safe to land there and then my husband kills them... yea I don't love it, but it keeps him happy :)

*Friday*

Run

Make Bruschetta that I didn't make earlier in the week

*Saturday*

Make meal plan for week

Take Dixie to the Dog Park

Get ink for my printer

Buy a new curling iron

Scrub shower AGAIN

*Sunday*

Grocery Shop

Laundry

Organize master closet

Print out recipes

Update on trying to get knocked up: NOTHING! Still no results from the doctor... here I come cycle day 46!  

Any fun weekend plans for anyone else??

Ughhh.. Doctors Doctors Doctors :(

Well like I said in a pervious post, this blog is going to be my outlet to vent about my troubles with trying to create a new life inside my belly!  So as of today I am on cycle day 43 with multiple negative home pregnancy tests.  After 11 cycles of negative pregnancy tests it still hurts.... ALOT, but my hopes don't get raised too much.  I always expect the negative at this point.  Since I have a history of having long cycles my doctor ordered for my to take a blood pregnancy test yesterday (just to make sure) and then start on a hormone to supplement my progesterone. I can't take the progesterone until the results of the blood test come back negative.  When I was getting my blood work done I asked the nurse when I would be able to have the results and she said 2-3 hours.  Well that was yesterday... and while I am 99.9% certain that the results are negative having them be unknown is leading me to change that 99.9% to 99.8%, 99.7%, etc.  I wish I could just read those words NEGATIVE.  Not only for the pleasure of knowing the unknown but so that I could finally start these progesterone pills that kick start my period so that I could potentially try again! Ok vent over, thanks for listening

Weekend away!

We are just getting back from a weekend up at a friends house that is 5 HOURS AWAY!!!  being in a car for 10 hours in one weekend shouldn't be allowed.  I thought I was doing good when we left Friday evening at 5... and then saw that it was only 8pm and we were just getting to the windy, icy, don't drive to close to the cliff or you'll fall to your death part of the ride.  Our friends live up in the mountains, which was beautiful during the day, but at night can be quite scary.  We had a great time though, Michael woke up early Saturday and went hunting while I stayed back with K and their boys (4 years old and 2 years old) and watched Rio.

The boys J (4) and K (2), notice the binoculars for looking for the deer? Lol

After we had a big breakfast everyone took a little nap (mine was with a 2 year old) and then went for a walk to the Lake.  They live in a country club with a huge lake a couple blocks away so we are pretty excited to go back this summer.

My walking partner, who likes to walk the speed of a snail...

View of the lake up the road.

That evening some other friends that we hadn't met came over with their 6wk old son, and I am pleased to say that I was able to hold him for a long time and put him to sleep :) It's an amazing feeling to watch an infant fall asleep.  

Plans for the week:

Monday: Grocery shop for the week, clean bathrooms, make rosemary lemon chicken with potatoes and carrots

Tuesday: Take returns to Kohl's from Christmas, begin to clear out front bedroom (our messy store all room), make bruschetta chicken with brown rice (mashed potatoes for the Hubs).

Wednesday: Finish putting front bedroom together, tidy up for guests Thursday night, eat leftovers :)

Thursday: Clean living room, make lasagna and green beans for our small dinner party.

Friday: Girls Night! Hubs will be off hunting, so instead of going out for drinks with the girls (I am trying to get pregnant!) I will be staying home and watching the sappy love movies that I can't watch when he's here :)

Saturday: create new meal plan, clean kitchen, cook either cioppino or chicken stew, not sure yet which one, depends on if the Hubs is back or not. 

Laundry fights

Laundry, laundry, laundry... how I loathe thy.  Laundry is the one chore that I hate the most.  Probably because it is the one chore that I can't just put off or I would run out of clothes.  Well yesterday while my wonderful husband was off of work he was trying to be his wonderful self and do the laundry.  I was running out the door to go to my first day at my "desk job" and he walked into the garage with a load of dirty clothes in his arms and a smile on his face knowing that he was doing good and was about to get credit for it.  I ran back to him gave him a kiss and said thanks so much.  I went off to work thinking "Wow I don't have to do that load of laundry today awesome."  That just gave me motivation for tidying up the rest of the house once I got home.  When I came home though.... the was a pile of clothes on my bed... He had washed the clothes, dried the clothes, and then threw them on the bed for me to finish when I got home. REALLY?!? He didn't understand when I told him that by him "trying" to do the laundry he had just created more work for me to do yesterday.  UGGGHHHH!!!! But then he always redeems himself by doing something so trivial that makes me smile like moving my car when he is done sweeping the garage rather than asking me to do it because it's my car :) I love him :)

What are some things that your significant others try to help out with... that doesn't really help?

Changes changes...

Well two days ago I posted about how I didn't like making New Years goals that set you up for failure, and well I'm not making a NYR to be healthier, I am just going to try my best.  I started my "desk" job today.  I was so proud of myself for getting up early, eating a healthy breakfast of a waffle with peanut butter and a banana. Then packed some snacks to eat while I sit at a desk with no work to actually do at that desk... and I was so preoccupied and happy that I had packed my snacks that at 2pm I realized I forgot to pack my actual lunch.... healthy eating FAIL. So when I got home at 430 I ate a bruschetta sandwich before making BBQ chicken and roasted carrots MMmmm! Then just as I was falling asleep on the couch and procrastinating from doing the dishes... my neighbor calls and says "Let's go for a walk".  See her and her family are trying to eat healthier and work out so I get to tag along for fun!  So we walked for 30 minutes around the neighborhood in the COLD! Now I am forced to do those icky dishes and clean that awful kitchen!

Any suggestions on what I could do at my desk job to keep my mind from going crazy?

New Year!

So here it is another year, another 365 days that whizzed by me so quickly I can barely catch my breath. It was a good year, with it's struggles.  But onto bigger and better things now.  So the big topic of the day... NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS! What are some of your resolutions this year?  I don't particularly like New Years resolutions, I think that for people who don't have the right kind of motivation or consequences, a large change in their behavior sets them up to be unsuccessful.  But that's just the behaviorist in me :)  So my type of new years resolution is a step by step process.  I also start them prior to the new year, so that it isn't a huge change on that day when I might not be feeling so well.

Rules for New Years Resolutions:
1) Choose a behavior you want/can change.  (i.e. be more organized) 
2) Break that behavior up into small steps and make a list of those steps. (i.e. pull out all items you want to organize, sort them into piles, label piles, etc.)  
3) post that list somewhere you see it everyday, whether that be on your phone as a reminder,  an email that gets sent everyday to you, whatever it takes. 
4) Make yourself accountable.  Let's others know about what behavior you are trying to change so that they can help keep you motivated.  
5) Choose something you can treat yourself to when you have done good.  Preferably it would be a treat to just see the product of your resolution being followed through with, but let's be honest; we are creatures who like tangible rewards.  If you keep your living room tidy for 2 whole weeks, go buy a new piece of decor to look good in that nice tidy room. 
6) Make changes!  If you are having trouble with your NYR, make the steps simpler, or change one of the steps.  This is your resolution, you can change it!


So now that I have unloaded on my rules I should probably fill you in on my resolution.  My new years resolution is to take more pictures.  When I look back on my year, I feel like I have nothing to show for it.  Yes I have the memories and yada yada... but I love that feeling when you are cleaning something out and find old pictures.  You sit down to look through them and you are all of a sudden reminiscing about those memories. I want to be able to come across pictures that will be taken of 2012 and remember all the wonderful memories I will make.  So, super easy you might think, but it is what it is. 

 Take more photos steps:

1. Take my camera more places
2. Upload my photos weekly to my computer
3. Once a month print out photos 
4. Get picture frames for printed photos
5. Create a gallery wall in living room! 
1. Spray paint photo frames
2. Cut out newspaper to match frame size
3. Play around with setting the "frames" onto the wall
4. Pick photos to be in frames
5. Enlist help of my husband in hanging the frames. He does plaster work which is what is on our walls, so he likes to be the one to hang stuff on the walls.  It's weird I know but I still love him! :)

I am already taking my camera with me more places and have uploaded for this last holiday season (not counting last night).  

Our mantle 2011

Christmas Eve at our house with Michael's mom's family.  This was my
very first event that I hosted with his family as our guests!  

This is my house Christmas morning.  Michael lounging in his chair playing new iPhone games, Jewls chewing on her new toys, notice all the extra toys lying around?  She had too many to choose from.  Then there's Dixie my wiener dog lying 3ft away from a new bag of treats guarding them from her sister.  

I'm interested in hearing what everyone's resolutions are.....