So I know that I have been a horrible blogger, and well that's all there is to it. So I last left off saying that after last cycle we were going to take a break. That didn't happen. My Dr. started me on Clomid 100 mg cycle day 5-9. I followed everything she told me to do, CD4 bloodwork (because day 3 was on a Sunday), pills days 5-9 and follow up cycle day 10 bloodwork. My estradiol (estrogen) levels at cd4 were 351, THAT'S REALLY HIGH! In January I had another set of CD3 bloodwork done and my estrogen was 55.... that's a big difference. My dr had advised me that the clomid should increase my estrogen by 200. Well I went in on day 10 and did the bloodwork and my estrogen went down to 286! Then when I questioned these numbers my Dr said that I went and did blookwork on the wrong days. She then proceeded to tell me that I probably didn't ovulate this cycle AGAIN! Well according to my temps I may have ovulated 4 days ago... so we'll see. I am so fed up with my Dr, but she won't refer me to a specialist until I have done 3 cycles of clomid. Even if she did refer the nearest specialist under my insurance is 90 minutes away.
So I did want to talk about my experience with Clomid, since that is the first set of real fertility drugs that I was prescribed. I didn't notice too many side effects while I was on them. I did have one day that I felt emotional just blah.... grumpy, bummed out, and just wanting to go home. I quickly realized though that it was probably the meds and that helped. It wasn't until after the meds that I really started to notice an emotional change. I am just so fed up with not getting pregnant and hearing about everyone else's pregnancies that I am just depressed. I come home from work and just want to go to bed... I find that I'm not laughing as much, I don't' want to get ready in the morning, my affect is completely neutral, and I have no hope. So I need a break. I need a break from obsessing over TTC and just do nothing. I am going to put my thermometer away at the end of this cycle, delete my fertility friend app on my phone and try to keep myself busy with other activities. Maybe yoga again, I really loved when I was going to yoga 3x/wk. I just need to do something to get out of this funk.
My still hopeful side is convinced (again) that this is the cycle, that I did ovulate and that a baby was conceived. But only time will tell...
Hopefully my next post will be a little more uplifting and well as my general mood.
