Parker Jean Chamberlain Part 2

PART 2:

At 4:15 they started me on a pitocin drip to try and speed things up since my contractions weren't regular yet.  At that time I was dilated to a 3... still a far ways to go.  At 6:15 I started to feel a small contraction again so I pressed the nice epidural pen.  Then about 2 minutes later I felt an OMG contraction and almost lost my shit.  I knew I couldn't handle going through that pain again and  didn't want to.  I held it together though, knowing that if I started to cry then I wouldn't stop.  The Dr. checked me and informed me that HOLY SHIT I was at a 10.  It was go time.  I proceeded to then tell her NO.  I didn't want to push that was the one thing I didn't want to do.  I would have rather had a c-section than push and feel the "ring of fire" or feel the tearing or cutting.  I didn't want that.  She allowed me to labor down for another hour and a half and during that I pushed my epidural button as often as I could.  That I think is what saved me. 

While my family rested up for the next big part of the day, I tried to stay in denial that I was about to have a baby.  It was surreal, it felt like it wasn't going to happen.  Then they told me I had to push.  I began pushing and the Hubs and my sister kept telling me how good I was doing, and I thought they were bullshitting me to make me feel better. It wasn't until the Dr. told me 35 minutes later to stop pushing, that during my next contraction I would have a baby.  That is when it hit me, I had made it.  I made it to the finish line and was about to cross it.  The pushing wasn't bad at all, I didn't feel any pain and now I was going to be a mom. I knew it was coming and just waited. As I felt the familiar pressure I grabbed my thighs and pushed every so slightly.  I felt him come out and then he was here.  

The next couple minutes were a blur.  There was crying and screaming and hustle and bustle of nurses. The Dr. continued to work on me and I anxiously waited to hear if I would need stitches.  To my surprise I didn't tear at all, HOORAY FOR ME!! I was so happy, there was this small thing staring up at me, a love I never knew I could feel from my husband, and a feeling of wholeness that I didn't know was empty.  Parker Jean was born at 8:32pm weighing 7lb 4oz, 21 in long. Even though he was considered a preemie since he was 4 weeks early, he was perfectly healthy and didn't need to spend any time in the NICU. 

That first night was terrifying.  Other than the fact that the Hubs and I were afraid to take our eyes off of him in fear that he would stop breathing, he had swallowed quite a bit of amniotic fluid and was throwing it up all night.  This made both of us now nervous that we stayed awake all night just listening for him to throw up and then suction out anything that came up.  Once the sun came up it didn't seem so scary so baby and I were able to get some sleep. 

These are some very sleepy eyes on the morning after labor and no sleep. The next are a few cute pictures of the little guy that I've taken over the last 2 weeks. 

Parker ready to go home! He didn't like the car seat at first, now it is like an instant sleep machine. 

Hanging out in his bouncer, where he slept for the first few nights. At his first Dr. appt where we learned he was loosing too much weight so we had to increase the feedings and take him back to the hospital for a 2nd weigh in.  Which he did fine at :)

Love this shot of my finger sucker <3 p="p">

More finger sucking :)

While I feed Parker I have a friend who always sits with me.

Parker sleeping after a feeding. 

More sleeping...

and more sleeping...

....

Finally an awake picture!  His first at home bath, which he hates. 

Finger sucking :)

and a small smile out of my little guy.  

That is the story of how this amazing little boy came to the Hubs and I.  Being a mom isn't an easy job, and there aren't any breaks, but I can't even say that it's worth it... it's just my life now.  I don't even have to think about whether it's worth it or not, it is this way as if it has always been this way.  I think what I love most is seeing my husband interact with him and the love that radiates from him when he looks at him or talks about him.  It is amazing to look at your husband in a new way after looking at him in the same ol' way for 8 years.  To watch him be a father makes me speechless :).  

Parker Jean Chamberlain Part 1

So this may be a 2 part post, since a lot has happened in the last 2 weeks.  Friday 11/9 I had a Dr appointment, and it was going to be my first internal exam to see if I was dilated.  I had been having braxton hicks contractions and was curious to see if they were making any kind of a difference.  The Dr. said that I was a fingertip to 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced.  She didn't think I was going to make it to my due date of 12/10, but rather I would give birth probably a week early.  This got me so excited!! I had taken the last 2 days off of work and was starting my maternity leave the following Monday so I knew that I needed to take advantage of this time and get stuff done quicker than expected.  After leaving that appointment, I knew things needed to move quickly.  I called my mom who was going to help me organize my hall closet the next day and told her that maybe we should go shopping to get those last minute items that we still needed instead. That night was like any other night.. heart burn that was HORRIBLE, and lack of sleep.  The next day my mom and I went shopping to a few stores, and it was exhausting.  We ended up getting home earlier than expected so we cleaned out the closet anyways.  That night when I went to the bathroom, I noticed that a small amount of my mucus plug had come out.  This was exciting to me, knowing that it meant that labor was on it's way.  I knew that I could still go weeks with nothing happening, but it didn't matter, this meant something was going to happen, that I wasn't going to be pregnant forever.  Sunday I felt... different.  I was having period like cramps, but didn't think anything of it.  I went about my day like normal still trying to get the house as together as possible, and procrastinating on household duties since, hey I was going to be off work for 4 weeks before the baby and had time to do laundry a different day.  But when it came to baby preparation, something told me that I needed to be ready.  I made my husband install the carseat, I finished all my laundry so that I could pack my hospital bag and stayed up late putting away baby's clothes.  I told my husband before we went to bed that I felt like something was going to happen very soon.  At this point we didn't have a pack n play set up, we didn't have the monitor, bouncer, or changing table set up.  Monday morning at 3:12am my husband was having back spasms so I got out of bed and was plugging in a heating pad when I felt "leaking".  It felt like I had peed a little, but that I wasn't controlling it.  I quickly plugged the heating pad in and ran to the bathroom, as I ran over there I felt another small gush of liquid and then nothing. I didn't tell my husband anything, thinking that it couldn't be my water because it wasn't the gush that you hear about.  I went about my morning, but little gushes kept coming out, probably 5x.  I called my sister and told her about them and she insisted that I call the Dr.  I didn't want to, for fear that this could be it and I wasn't ready, but I finally did and they told me to come in so that they could check me to see if it was amniotic fluid. So I called my hubby and told him to come home from work that I thought my water broke.  While waiting I showered, got all pretty since I figured my picture would be taken a lot that day and watched some TV.  Finally we got the labor and delivery department and they had to do an internal speculum exam to test the liquid that was coming out. OUCH! That was the worst part.  So the lady came back and said nope, it wasn't amniotic fluid, my water hadn't broken.  Part of me was relieved and part of me was sad.  Yes I was going to be able to still enjoy the rest of the 4 weeks of disability without a baby, and yes I would be able to attend the Twilight premiere that was happening Thursday, but I wanted a baby too.  Instead of doing the smart thing and getting on top of all those things that weren't finished we ate In-n-Out and took a long nap.  I did absolutely nothing that day to be productive.  The next morning, Tuesday November 13th was quite day for me.  I got up in the middle of the night to pee.. for like the 3rd time and every time I would feel underneath me to see if the bed was wet.  Every time it was dry, but I felt like I was wet.  At 5:02am I got up to pee again and while walking over there I heard liquid hit the tile, and then again a gush of liquid splashed under me.  I quickly jumped to the toilet where more and more water slowly trickled out of me.  I knew this was it.  I immediately starting shaking and panicking. I called labor and delivery again and told them what had happened but also told them that I didn't want to waste my time going out there if this wasn't it.  But the fact that I had to hold a towel under me to grab the labor and delivery phone number from the living room told me that this was it.  I called my Mom and asked her to come over so that she could drive me to the hospital since Hubs was already on his way to work.  I told him that once they admitted me I would let him know to come home.  No sense in his missing another day of work if this wasn't it.  I starting having period like cramps again, but since I was having them over the weekend I didn't think anything of it.  I told my Mom and she told me that those were contractions.  I started timing them and they were about 6-7 minutes apart, but not regular.  I got to the hospital at 7:15am and they didn't have to do the speculum test! Hooray!! They said right away that I was considered grossly ruptured. They began monitoring me and admitted me at 8:30 into labor and delivery.  The contractions were closer together now, ranging 2-6 minutes apart, but not painful yet. At 10:15 they were getting to the uncomfortable/painful state.  Probably a 6-7 on the pain scale. They offered me narcotics.. a drug that starts with an F, but I denied it. I wanted to try and wait as long as I could before getting the epidural for fear that it would be a LONG day if I got it too early.  By 10:30 the contractions became stronger but still inconsistent timing.  The Hubs got to the hospital at 11, and I was in pain. Probably on 8-8 1/2. The nurse finally checked my progress and I was only a 2... :( Talk about discouragement.  All that pain and I progressed 1 cm! The nurse suggested that I walk around, but I didn't want to move.  Finally at 12 I decided fine I would walk the halls.  That lasted about 10 minutes before I was in extreme pain and wanted to go back to the bed.  I demanded the epidural at that point, but of course the anesthesiologist was about to go into a c-section.  So I got the narcotics at a full dose.  THAT DID NOTHING.  At this point the contractions were 2-4 minutes apart and hell.  I would tense up every time and try to breath heavily through them as if I was doing a breathing test.  If I took 10 deep breaths, the contraction had usually reached it's peak and was coming down.  After 1 hr and the Dr still not being ready I told the nurse that the drugs did nothing but I would take another dose since the Dr wasn't there.  He did show up about 15 minutes later though at 2:30.  The Hubs held me as the Dr. poked at my back.  I felt the small pinch of the local and then pressure only.  At one point the Hubs let go of me and walked out.. I had no idea why but apparently he couldn't handle watching the Dr. stick me with the long needle and had to step outside. My Mr. sensitive :) Anyways, the epidural wasn't immediate relief, it took about 20 minutes.  But it was ok.. I knew that shortly I would not feel the contractions.  At that point I rested.  I never slept but I closed my eyes and just listened to the conversations between Hubs, my sister and my Mom.