Parker Jean Chamberlain Part 2

PART 2:

At 4:15 they started me on a pitocin drip to try and speed things up since my contractions weren't regular yet.  At that time I was dilated to a 3... still a far ways to go.  At 6:15 I started to feel a small contraction again so I pressed the nice epidural pen.  Then about 2 minutes later I felt an OMG contraction and almost lost my shit.  I knew I couldn't handle going through that pain again and  didn't want to.  I held it together though, knowing that if I started to cry then I wouldn't stop.  The Dr. checked me and informed me that HOLY SHIT I was at a 10.  It was go time.  I proceeded to then tell her NO.  I didn't want to push that was the one thing I didn't want to do.  I would have rather had a c-section than push and feel the "ring of fire" or feel the tearing or cutting.  I didn't want that.  She allowed me to labor down for another hour and a half and during that I pushed my epidural button as often as I could.  That I think is what saved me. 

While my family rested up for the next big part of the day, I tried to stay in denial that I was about to have a baby.  It was surreal, it felt like it wasn't going to happen.  Then they told me I had to push.  I began pushing and the Hubs and my sister kept telling me how good I was doing, and I thought they were bullshitting me to make me feel better. It wasn't until the Dr. told me 35 minutes later to stop pushing, that during my next contraction I would have a baby.  That is when it hit me, I had made it.  I made it to the finish line and was about to cross it.  The pushing wasn't bad at all, I didn't feel any pain and now I was going to be a mom. I knew it was coming and just waited. As I felt the familiar pressure I grabbed my thighs and pushed every so slightly.  I felt him come out and then he was here.  

The next couple minutes were a blur.  There was crying and screaming and hustle and bustle of nurses. The Dr. continued to work on me and I anxiously waited to hear if I would need stitches.  To my surprise I didn't tear at all, HOORAY FOR ME!! I was so happy, there was this small thing staring up at me, a love I never knew I could feel from my husband, and a feeling of wholeness that I didn't know was empty.  Parker Jean was born at 8:32pm weighing 7lb 4oz, 21 in long. Even though he was considered a preemie since he was 4 weeks early, he was perfectly healthy and didn't need to spend any time in the NICU. 

That first night was terrifying.  Other than the fact that the Hubs and I were afraid to take our eyes off of him in fear that he would stop breathing, he had swallowed quite a bit of amniotic fluid and was throwing it up all night.  This made both of us now nervous that we stayed awake all night just listening for him to throw up and then suction out anything that came up.  Once the sun came up it didn't seem so scary so baby and I were able to get some sleep. 

These are some very sleepy eyes on the morning after labor and no sleep. The next are a few cute pictures of the little guy that I've taken over the last 2 weeks. 

Parker ready to go home! He didn't like the car seat at first, now it is like an instant sleep machine. 

Hanging out in his bouncer, where he slept for the first few nights. At his first Dr. appt where we learned he was loosing too much weight so we had to increase the feedings and take him back to the hospital for a 2nd weigh in.  Which he did fine at :)

Love this shot of my finger sucker <3 p="p">

More finger sucking :)

While I feed Parker I have a friend who always sits with me.

Parker sleeping after a feeding. 

More sleeping...

and more sleeping...

....

Finally an awake picture!  His first at home bath, which he hates. 

Finger sucking :)

and a small smile out of my little guy.  

That is the story of how this amazing little boy came to the Hubs and I.  Being a mom isn't an easy job, and there aren't any breaks, but I can't even say that it's worth it... it's just my life now.  I don't even have to think about whether it's worth it or not, it is this way as if it has always been this way.  I think what I love most is seeing my husband interact with him and the love that radiates from him when he looks at him or talks about him.  It is amazing to look at your husband in a new way after looking at him in the same ol' way for 8 years.  To watch him be a father makes me speechless :).