One Year Ago...

One year ago I woke up with a feeling that I should pee on a stick.
That stick changed my life forever.
I remember the scared hopeful feeling that washed over me as I watched a second pink line appear out of nowhere.
I remember being overly confident, even when the Dr. told me not to get excited that it was probably a chemical pregnancy since it was so early.
I knew that this pregnancy was going to end with my baby in my arms.
I am still trying to forget those first few waves of nausea... which I unfortunately so vividly remember.
I am also trying to forget the rest of the nausea that immediately followed!
I remember laying on the couch for an hour every day trying to find a little heart beat with my fetal monitor.
I remember when I did find it :)
I remember when I thought that a little flutter might have been a kick.
I remember when I knew I was feeling kicks.
I remember the look on The Hub's face the first time he felt the baby move.
I remember Auntie Sarah cried the first time she felt baby move.
I remember the peaceful feeling I got every time my hand caressed my bump, which was ALL THE TIME.
I remember setting my phone on the bump, playing my audio book of Fifty Shades of Grey and watching the baby go crazy!
I remember finding out the baby was a boy.
I remember when The Hubs looked at me and said maybe next time, knowing how much I want a daughter.
I remember that for that moment I forgot about the nausea, fatigue, back aches and all and already wanting to do it all over again.
I remember my anxiety over flying, because it wasn't just me anymore.  If something were to happen while I was on the plane... I WAS ON A PLANE!
I remember watching my bump grow and wondering if it would ever go down.
I remember starting to really want my body back to being just mine.
I remember swelling up and the itching, oh the itching.
I remember how I loved how the bump looked in clothes!
I remember when those clothes started to get tight.
I remember wishing I could live in a T-shirt and underwear... forever.
I remember how amazing my baby shower was and all the people who were able to share it with me.
I remember wanting to be done with work... at about week 16.
I remember the first weekend of maternity leave, and my overwhelming feeling that I needed to set up the nursery and finish as much as I could in that very moment.
I remember staying up late that Sunday night installing the car seat, finishing laundry, packing my hospital bag, putting baby clothes away.
I remember at 3:55 the next morning feeling a small gush of liquid and being in denial of what it was and going back to bed.
I remember when I woke up at 6, it happened again, and I still didn't say anything.
I remember going to the hospital and being so scared because it was too early, and my first day off of work.
I remember being relieved when they sent me home, and happy to eat In-N-Out.
I remember next morning when it happened again, but much more.
I remember shaking because I was so scared.
I knew it was happening, and after those long 9 months I wasn't ready.
I remember sitting in the hospital, being awkwardly peaceful.
I remember the contractions.
I remember the drugs :)
I remember the return of the pain and to then find out I was at a 10.
I remember wanting to go home at that point, and then telling the Dr.'s that.
I remember pushing... pushing while not being able to see a result (belly in the way) and continuing to push.
I remember when it ended.
I remember becoming a Mom and no longer being pregnant.

All of those memories were a result of one little pee stick (or 30) showing a second pink line.

Thank you pee stick :)